Last Night, Good Night
by CaffeinatedKitty
Summary: Matthew and Ivan reflect on the last night they spent together. Based off of the song Last Night, Good Night. One-shot based off of Je Suis Désolé, Прости меня. I do not own Hetalia.


This came to me while I was listening to a beautiful Len and Kaito duet of- you guessed it- Last Night, Good Night. I was remembering the few lyrics in English that I knew and decided that it fit this particular scene from Je suis désolé, Прости меня... And I needed to write some fluff to get some relief from the sadness/horror that is Hide and Seek. But the fic I end up writing ends up being sad instead of fluffy... Darn it.

But anyway, I'm working on Hide and Seek... The writing for that is going a lot better than for everything else... ^.^'' And I put the A/N at the beginning because I think that if it's at the end, it'll ruin the feels. XD I don't know why I keep writing in this format... I guess it's to make it kind of like letters that will never be sent. *shrug*

**Edit: I took out the lyrics. I'll repost this on Deviantart with the lyrics. If you want to read it, PM me!**

* * *

Ivan, I still remember that last night we spent together. Even now, so many years after you left... I had a dream that night, while you slept peacefully, unaware of what was going to happen.

I'm still not sure why, but my dream wasn't just a nonsensical scene created by my subconscious... Instead, it was a memory- the memory of when you told me that I was your life.

I cried then, both in the dream and out, though I dried my tears before you could notice. I don't think that there will ever be time when I can remember you saying that without tears coming to my eyes. Not because the memory is sad, but because I was forced to disregard that and break your heart only days after.

I was almost panicking when I had to tell you... That I found someone else. That was the softest way I could word it, I thought... But right at that moment, if you had felt my heartbeat, you would have known that I was lying. Because it was going so fast, beating so hard... It was obvious that I was scared.

I know it was stupid, going to spend that last night with you. But I guess I was hoping, at least a little, that I would be able to wake up at your side the next morning and realize that this last week was all a dream, a terrible nightmare...

It wasn't.

It was our last night together, but somehow, I managed to sleep... I held one of your hands between both of my own, only now realizing the difference in their size. And I slept, not for long, but I slept all the same. Being there with you, feeling you next to me, somehow comforted me, allowing me to relax. Soon enough, though, I awoke again, unable to return to the wonderful world in my dreams. That was when I went outside...

I stood, leaning against the porch railing, for who knows how long, before you joined me. You managed to lull me back to sleep, and for that I'm glad. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm afraid of where my thoughts would have gone if I'd stayed awake...

I just wanted to give you one last good night.

* * *

Matthew, wouldn't it be nice to spend time with each other again? I know it isn't possible, because now, we belong to two different worlds... I just wish that we could be together again, just for a day. I just keep hoping that the same power that let me come back to protect you will give me an audible, visible form... But all I can do is hope that my wish will be granted.

When you said it... "I've found someone else"... I didn't know what to do. All I could think to do was get angry... In a way, I was. Before you, I'd had so many people leave me... Raivis... I don't know why he was afraid of me... Eduard... I didn't understand why he didn't like me... And Toris... I still don't know why he left me for Feliks. I hope you understand why I was angry... I know your intentions were good, but I could have dealt with it... You could have explained to me while we were inside and they never would have known. But we can't change the past...

Before I left this world, I tried to let you know... That I would always love you. I hope that came through in my note... That all I wanted was for you to be happy. I just wanted you to know that no matter what happened to me, I would always love you... I could tell you weren't completely happy, so I thought... Maybe it was because you didn't want to see me any more. So... I decided to disappear. I know now why you were unhappy... And I'm sorry.

That last night we spent together, I could tell that something was wrong. I didn't know what... And I was hoping that you'd tell me. But out of all the things I would have expected... That was not one of them. Now, though, I can protect you. I can stop things like this from happening... I won't let you get hurt like this again. For a few days after... I died... I couldn't feel anything, see anything, hear anything... And I was safe. I wasn't in pain, I was in peace.. But then, I was sent back to Earth, a little voice telling me that I had to protect you. You were in the hospital, barely alive...

That was the first time I helped. Somehow, I convinced you to hold on, to stay alive until you could wake up. I was there when Lovino yelled at you, when you woke up... I didn't stop him because you needed to hear it. I was there when you broke up with Gilbert... I refused to let him lay his hands on you. I think that was when I started thinking about when the end would come for real... I knew that I couldn't keep you smiling, no matter how hard I tried... Because you couldn't see or hear me.

So I always protected you, hoping that you could continue doing the things you loved, and that the people around you would always try to make you happy. And the good thing is...

I think we succeeded.


End file.
